This just in: Love means having to say you're sorry

"while we were enemies"

Romans 5:10

In one of the Shrek movies, there's a scene where Puss in Boots is compelled to apologize.  He holds his hat in his hand, looks down and says remorsefully, "I'm ashamed."  My kids do this sometimes when I'm scolding them, and it cracks me up and makes my mad go away.

Well recently, I found myself in the position of Puss in Boots.   I was having a stressful day ~ too much to do and not enough time.   I had to go out that evening, and I was trying to get ready, but also get things done that I had to take with me. I was mad at myself for putting off doing those things, but when I thought about it, my weekend had been such that I really hadn't had a chance before that evening anyway.

So there I was, running around printing things, packing my tote bag, and packing the car with what I had to bring ~ and my wonderful family dropped what they were doing to help me.  My Hubby ~ the Apple of my Eye ~ had a deadline of his own, for a Bible study class he teaches; and my Awesome Girl had a deadline of her own, for a class she's taking.   But they, and my Amazing Boy were doing things for me so I could leave on time.

In a hurry, I reached up to get something out of the cupboard, and I dropped a glass, breaking it.  And would you believe, I blamed the Apple of my Eye?!  "How could you put this here!  What were you thinking?!"  At which point my Awesome Girl spoke up, "I put it there.  I'm sorry, I thought that's where we kept it."  And I responded sharply, "No, I stopped keeping it there months ago because I was afraid it would get knocked out of the cupboard!"

Well, of course a few minutes later my eyes were opened to the obvious, and I was apologizing profusely to both of them.  It was completely my fault.  I should have just moved it out of the way.  And they both graciously accepted my apology; they understood I was just stressed out right then.

But here's the thing ~ even though I had apologized, and they had accepted, I didn't feel any better.  I still felt bad for how I'd treated them when they were in the midst of helping me.  And I wondered why that guilty feeling just wouldn't go away.

And then I thought about Jesus.    Today's verse, in Romans, says that while we were yet His enemies, God reconciled us to Him through the death of His Son.   He did something incredible for me ~ died on the cross to offer me the gift of eternal life ~ before I was even born, and even after I was born, it was years before I thanked Him, and said "yes" to that gift.  And now?  Having accepted that gift of salvation, I go for days and weeks without even thinking about His sacrifice, much less thanking Him for it.  Where is that guilty feeling?  Where is my remorse?  My shame?

What He did, He did for each of us.  If I were the only person on earth, He still would have died for me. Because even if I were the only person on earth, He still would have had to.   Not enough remorse means not enough appreciation.  And of that, I'm ashamed.