Being There

"as he was speaking to me, 

I was in a deep sleep"

Daniel 8:18

Something happened last week that made my heart hurt a little bit.  I mean, in a way, it was a bad thing; in a way it was a good thing; and in a way, it was just one of those things.

I didn't find out about it until afterwards.  My Amazing and Awesome kids told me about it.  Seems my boy had a nightmare, and called out for me, but I couldn't hear from my bedroom. 

Now, if you're a mother, and the thought of that breaks your heart just a little bit, please raise your hand.

I thought so.

I don't know why he didn't get up and come to me, cuz my kids have certainly done that a time or two in their lives, prompting me to issue the following edict:  "If you don't feel well, or have a bad dream, come to me.  If you hear a scary noise and you're wondering if it's the boogeyman, please wake your father." 

Seems fair, right?

But for some reason, on this particular night, my son didn't come to me, he just called out, and I didn't hear him.  But his Awesome Sister did.  They share a wall, so I guess she had acoustical advantages that I didn't.

So she got up and came to him, gave him a little comfort, turned on some music for him, and then got him back in bed.  Isn't she wonderful?  When I started this blog, I asked each of my kids what adjective they'd use to describe their sibling.  He picked awesome for her, and My Awesome Girl she became.  And now you get a glimpse of why he chose that word for her. 

I felt terrible the next day, when I found out I hadn't been there for my boy, but I was also so grateful to God for the relationship my kids have.  I was so glad she was there for him.  There for me.  There for him, for me. 

It bothered me that I wasn't able to comfort and love my son when he needed it, but apparently it wasn't my turn this time.  Either I failed, or God intended for my daughter to handle it.  Either way, I believe it was how it was meant to be. 

It's funny; there are so many ways we fail to take hold of opportunities that God gives us.  But sometimes what pains us is the opportunities we think should have been ours.  We just need to find our peace in the knowledge that His ways are higher than ours. 

~ "they who love God love their brother also" ~

1 John 4:21

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