On Speaking Up

"convince, rebuke, exhort"

2 Timothy 4:2

I went to a women's gathering at my church a few weeks ago. 

It was fun, because:
    yummy things to eat
 + the opportunity to chat with some friends
 + teaching and encouragement from our pastor's wife.
=  Fun

She was talking about our relationships to each other ~ the women at our church.  About loving and supporting one another.  About being friends and sisters and fellow students of the Word.  She always says none of us is any better than the other, and that any teacher of the Bible is just "one beggar showing another beggar where to find the bread."  I love that.  A very "we're-all-in-this-together" sort of thought.

But she also talked about the sometimes difficult part of loving and supporting someone else.  The part about keeping each other accountable.  The part about telling someone when they are caught in sin, and don't seem to realize it.  Or maybe they do realize it, but keep doing it. 

It's not easy for most of us.  I think most of us are rather non-confrontational, seeking to avoid disagreement with others.  And pointing out what someone else is doing wrong is likely to lead to confrontation...

It's also hard because most of us try not to judge one another.  That is, we try not to judge out loud.  It's sometimes hard to control what goes on in our minds.  But that's a sin for a different conversation.

It's easier when I think of it in terms of my kids.  When my kids were growing up, I would never let them be unkind to each other.  I knew parents who just shrugged when their kids teased or annoyed each other.  But I wouldn't allow that.  No "kids will be kids" or "it's only human nature".  Deliberately making someone else unhappy out of selfishness or thoughtlessness or because it's "only a joke" is not okay.  There is no place for it.

And frankly, I didn't very often have to discipline my kids for being unkind to each other.  Maybe that was because they were simply born Awesome and Amazing, and I just didn't have to do much.  Or maybe it was because I nipped it in the bud; I don't know.

When Rudy Giuliani was mayor of NYC, he cleaned up blighted areas using the broken window theory.  It's the theory that if you ignore broken windows in a neighborhood, vandals tend to break more windows.  Eventually they may break into the building, squatting there or doing damage inside.  But if you repair the broken windows, the vandalism and crimes are not allowed to escalate.   Stopping small sins helps prevent bigger ones. 

But it's not easy.  It's something I'm praying about lately, because I want to be ready for anything He asks of me.  And if He does, I want to do it right ~ not judging, but loving.  Bringing truth with grace and an understanding of my own weaknesses. 

We need to be ready to listen, but just as ready to speak.

~ "Be ready in season and out of season.

Convince, rebuke, exhort

    with all longsuffering and teaching" ~

2 Timothy 4:2