Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Despicable Me

"Your Word have I hidden in my heart"
Psalm 119:11

Man, I drive myself crazy sometimes.  I'm sure you feel that way, too.  Not that I'm driving you crazy, but that you're driving yourself crazy.   I hope.  Not that I hope that you're driving yourself crazy, I just hope it's not me that's driving you crazy.  You know what I mean?

I'm driving you crazy right now, aren't I?   Sorry.

So the reason I'm exasperated with myself is because today, the closest I got to reading the Bible is:  picking up my Bible and holding it in my hand.  Isn't that sad?  I got up and said goodbye to the Apple of my Eye, and then I generally have a few minutes to myself before my awesome and amazing kids get up.  Today I sat down in my comfy chair, and I picked up my Bible, and held it in my hand for a minute.  I guess I was still a little sleepy.   Anyhow, before I even got the book open, my Amazing Boy came bleary-eyed into the room.  So I set The Book aside to interact with him... a little "good morning," a little "how'd you sleep," etc.

And then, somehow, with breakfast, and lunch, and exercising and showering, and getting dressed and doing dishes and homeschooling and preparing for the meeting I had to go to in the evening, I never sat back down with my Bible in my hand.  Now, there are several things I didn't get to today ~ I somehow never got out to the laundry room, either ~ but this was the one thing had my best intentions.  And yet....

How does this happen??  How do I let myself go all day without reading the Bible?!  I know how important it is, and I hate how weak my flesh is, and how forgetful my brain is.

But here's what's interesting.  I had a song in my head today, that I haven't heard in several weeks.  It's from a movie, and it's really not even a song as much as a ditty, with only about two lines.  I'll give you a hint ~ the song was sung by this person:

.... about this topic:

And there was this song, banging around in my brain, completely useless and completely uninvited.

And as I wondered on this phenomenon, I realized that I also had a passage of Scripture in my brain.  I've been in the Book of Matthew a lot lately, and I have found myself meditating on a couple of different areas.  And even though I was lazy enough, or weak enough, or foolish enough not to sit down to read the Bible today, He came to me.  Just as I had that song in my head, without having watched that movie today; I also had His Word in my head, without having read anything new today.  I think He knew this was a busy day for me, and He met me where I was.  I know busyness is not an excuse; I just think He had compassion and forgiveness for me today.  So, as Scripture says, "the Word of the Lord came to me" and I continued the meditating I'd been doing the past couple of days.

Yes, I am despicable.... weak and lazy... But He is good and giving and merciful.  No matter how bad we are, He is always good.  He can be nothing else.  I'm just glad to be the recipient of His thoughtfulness.

~ "If we are faithless, He remains faithful,
for He cannot deny Himself" ~
2 Timothy 2:13

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