Sunday, December 30, 2012

Have you cherished your mate today?

"they shall become one"
Genesis 2:24

The families have departed now; all of us gone our separate ways after sharing our Christmas.   It's an interesting dynamic when all of us are together.  I'm sure it is for your family, too.  I have two sisters ~ one older and one younger.  All of us are married, and all of us have kids.  The kids are all within about eight years of each other, equal numbers of boys and girls, and all get along well.  They enjoy being together as a group, but they also can break up into any number of small groups and enjoy each other.

The grownups all get along, too.  Eight of us, including my parents.  And there's a lot to learn from being together.  I found myself thinking a lot about marriage the past few days. 

The length of marriages varies widely in the group ~ fifty-two years, twenty-two years, ten years, and two years.  It's interesting to watch spouses interacting with each other.  Sometimes I think, "oh, that's nice."  Other times I think, "wow.... I don't think that would work in my marriage." 

The beautiful thing is that it doesn't mean anybody has a better marriage than anyone else.  God is so good that way.  He lovingly created each of us uniquely, and has blessed each marriage in its own way.  No relationship has been without its struggles, either before or during the marriage.  "Two becoming one" is a difficult thing.  It means each one becoming less about oneself, and more about the new one.  And I don't think He ever intended for it to be easy.

Working to be selfless is an ongoing effort.  Even more so in a marriage, I think, because you still need to be true to who you are, while growing to be who you are becoming, all the while staying in sync with your spouse's growth, as they become who they are becoming.   

And while all that growth and effort is happening, others are being blessed ~ kids, parents, in-laws, siblings... but most of all, the two who are growing together as one.

my folks at their 50th anniversary celebration
~ "Two are better than one" ~
Ecclesiastes 4:9

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