Sunday, June 30, 2013

Not Alone

"in the heat of the day"
Genesis 18:1

First off, I would just like to say:  it's hot. 

Like:  "ick, it's hot, therefore I'm sticky."

Like:  "ack, it's hot, therefore I think I'll just sit here and not move..."

So we went over to my folks' house to use their pool and share their air conditioning.  I mean, we have air conditioning, but it's better for the electricity grids if we turn on as few as possible, ya know?  My Amazing Boy and the Apple of my Eye went in the pool, but my Awesome Girl and I just sat on the edge of the pool with our feet in the water.  It cooled us down significantly, and we enjoyed sitting and talking with my parents. 

She and I didn't go in for two reasons.  My reason was that I only put on a bathing suit and get in the pool one day a year.  Maybe two.  Apparently this wasn't it. 

Her reason was that she wasn't feeling well.  She's had a few days now, of not feeling well, and as hard as that is for her, sometimes I think it might be harder for me.  I know that sounds selfish; how could I possibly think it's worse for me?  But any parent knows the truth in the statement "this hurts me more than it hurts you."  Watching our kids in pain, or unhappy, is hard. 

A few months ago, she was having stomach pains for a few days, and for some reason, at the same time, so was I.  I don't know why; we never figured out the source of her pain, or mine.  But hers started first, and when mine started bothering me, I found that in a weird sort of way, I was happy.   Sometimes when my kids are hurting, I would rather it be me.  So I was glad to be walking the path with her, if I couldn't walk it for her.

Sometimes I think the mere fact of being a parent brings me closer to God.  Seeing things as they relate to my children reminds me of how He sees us, and that He is not just the Creator of the universe, the Alpha and the Omega, but our Abba Father, as well.   I remember that He chose to take  the punishment for our sins. 

And I wonder, in the days and hours before Jesus' crucifixion, as He looked ahead to all He knew was coming, did His heart ache more for His disciples, than at the thought of His own suffering?

Pain is inevitable in this world, but it comforts me to know we are not alone.

~ "Jesus wept" ~
John 11:35

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