"I have considered the message"
1 Kings 5:8
I had to write an apology note the other day. I'd gotten together with some friends last week, and had a very slight disagreement with a longtime friend. I felt bad about an offhand, meant-to-be-funny comment I'd made, and I didn't want it to fester between us, since it will probably be a few months before we see each other again.
And I wanted to write a note, because an email, or a phone call, would call for an immediate response on her part. I didn't necessarily want her to feel compelled to say, "I'm sorry, too" if she wasn't thinking that. Or if she felt she had nothing to apologize for. I just wanted to take it all on me, though I'm not entirely convinced I'm the only one who should apologize, ya know?
And I pondered the wording of the card for a day or so before actually writing it. I wanted to make sure it was phrased properly.
Here's what I wanted to say:
"I'm so sorry for the comment I made the other day. It was just that I have long felt that discussions on that topic were sort of stupid --"
"I'm really sorry for what I said the other day. I was frustrated by the idiotic conversation --"
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I made that comment, but if you hadn't --"
"Sorry for what happened between us the other day. I've just always had trouble with people who --"
And you know what I realized the problem is? Pride. I want explain why I said what I said, which is that I wasn't feeling well, or I was tired, or I was provoked or whatever. None of which really matters to God. My heart was in the wrong place, and my mouth followed.
The thank you note I finally wrote included nothing but an apology, and a hope that she knows that I value our friendship. Justification really only comes from Him anyway.
~ "When pride comes,
then comes shame;
But with the humble is wisdom" ~