"I meditate on it all day long"
Psalm 119:97
I'm a mom. I think I might have mentioned this before. I have two wonderful, sweet, intelligent, beautiful, Amazing and Awesome children. We homeschool, so we are together pretty much 100% of our awake time. My first child was born almost 15 years ago, which means I have not had an uninterrupted thought in almost 15 years...
It's not entirely her fault. Three years after she was born, her brother was born. Ever since then, they've been taking turns. Or sometimes double-teaming me. Now, please understand this is not a complaint, just an observation. I love being a stay-at-home mom, and I love being their teacher. I could never understand moms who couldn't wait for school to start again cuz they couldn't stand having their kids at home. I love spending time with my kids. But when they have a question, a problem, a thought, a concern or a complaint, I'm who they come to. Sometimes it means interrupting a train of thought; sometimes it means interrupting a conversation.
As they've gotten older, they've tried harder to respect my time. They knew at a very young age that they shouldn't interrupt me when I was on the phone, unless it was an emergency. Now, they try to wait until they have eye contact with me before talking. That way I don't have to say, "Wait ~ I wasn't listening yet. Go back to the beginning."
And frankly, when I stop to think about it, I realize I'm not much better. I know I interrupt people in conversation. I generally feel like I have a good reason, like I have a question to ask that will help me understand better. But even if you've got a "good" reason, interrupting is interrupting.
I'm thinking about all of this today, because it's been bothering me lately how fractured my prayer and study time is. Reading the Bible can be hard because it often requires ~ and always deserves ~ concentration. Studying it requires even more concentration. And prayer the most of all. And I can't even blame my kids for interrupting me; it's my own thoughts that can't stay on Him. Things I need to do; things I'd like to do; things I should have done... you know how it is. Scripture talks about "meditating" on His Word all day long, but boy, I just don't know how one would do that. The closest I can come to that is to just keep bringing my wandering thoughts back to Him.
Sometimes the interruptions are due to circumstances. Sometimes the fault is all mine, and my inability to refuse to budge from my chair until I've given Him my time. My time should be a sacrifice, and it should be ~ say it with me ~ without interruption. I know it's what He does for me.
~ "the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and His ears are attentive to their prayer" ~
1 Peter 3:12
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