Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The passive sins

"in danger of judgment"
Matthew 5:21

How fast can you sin?  If you really set your mind to it ~ to sin as many times as you could in one day, or to sin as early in the morning as possible ~ what would be the way to accomplish it?   I think ~ unfortunately ~ I might have some hints for you.

I've become aware lately, of how much I sin before I've even gotten out of bed in the morning, or while I'm falling asleep at night.  Or even in the middle of the night, if I'm having trouble sleeping.  My body is still and calm, but my mind is going strong.  And although I'm not stealing or killing or taking the Lord's name in vain, there are a variety of ways to sin, in my mind. 

I got mad at a friend of mine last week.  I've mostly forgiven her, but then the anger will come back.  Far less each time, but I know that I'm wrong to have not completely forgiven her.  I think part of the problem is that logically, rationally, I believe she was in the wrong.  Whether that's true or not, it enables me to justify my anger, which has probably kept it going this long.  And my belief that she was wrong doubles my sin.   Now, I'm judging, too. 

I'm very critical at night, lying in bed.  I'm judgmental and covetous and unforgiving and unkind, thinking of people in my life and how they've "hurt" me.  To be honest, it doesn't happen a lot, but because of this issue lately, I've become aware of it.  Reading Scripture before bed helps, but doesn't eliminate the harsh thoughts.  And I spend a lot of that falling asleep time praying for others, too, but the unkind thinking is the kind of sin that sneaks back, and you're doing it again, almost without realizing it.  Vicious thoughts...

You'd think that lying in bed at the end of the day, would be the time I'd be least likely to sin.  And that thinking ~ that I was safe ~ made me more vulnerable.   Maybe my prayer as soon as I climb into bed needs to be for myself, and my heart, and my attitude.  And maybe my first prayer every morning should be one of confession and repentance and for Him to bring blessings on everyone in my life. 

~  "bless those who curse you" ~
Luke 6:28

2 comments:

  1. Good post. Reminds me of me. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

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  2. And yet there seems to be a lot of stones flying through the air in this world, doesn't there?

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