In the wee small hours of the morning

"In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice"

Psalm 5:3

What is it about 3 a.m.?  Do you ever wake up and find you can’t get back to sleep?  I know for some people it causes a desperate, panicked feeling.  You’re so anxious to get back to sleep, so that you won’t suffer the next day, and the more anxious you are, the more you’re keeping yourself awake. 

I never feel anxious at 3:00; although I sometimes feel frustrated at how little control I seem to have over my body and my mind.  What frequently happens is that I find myself overly worried about some issue in my life.  Some crucial, puzzling problem like:  we’re almost out of milk. 

Seriously.  That’s the kind of thing I worry about.  Something with a simple solution, that yet manages to keep me awake.  And generally, I’m telling myself how silly I’m being.  Part of me knows that all I have to do is go to the store the next day, and the problem will be solved.   But even knowing that, I can’t stop my mind from racing. 

3 a.m.  There’s just something about that time.  I think it’s because it’s somehow the halfway point between “last night” and “tomorrow”.  It’s the official “middle of the night”.

It’s quiet.  I sometimes get up, trying not to wake the dog (I usually don’t succeed).  And trying not to wake the Apple of my Eye.  (I usually succeed at that.)  And I’m very fortunate that my work is at home, so if I need to, I can catch a quick nap the next day ~ although I rarely do.  But I think that keeps the anxiety about sleeplessness at bay, just knowing I could nap if I needed to.

Once I'm up, I feel less worried about the milk.  ;)   I guess my logical mind is able to take over.  I might read a little Scripture on my computer (that way I don't have to turn on a light) but mostly I just pray.    Different people in my life, who need prayer, come to mind, and I'm able to lift their needs to Him.  A little talking, a little listening...  There are certainly fewer things competing for my attention than there are during the day.

But what I love, is that there's nothing competing for His attention.  Not that there ever is, of course, but I'm more aware of that fact.  He's up at 3:00 in the morning, and waiting for me.  

I'm not thrilled when I find myself awake in the wee hours; sleep would be my preference.  But I love knowing that He's there, listening, and maybe with a thing or two to tell me.  My goal is for it not to be wasted time, a time of annoyance or impatience, but a time of peace and prayer.

~ "Lord, be gracious to us; we long for You.

Be our strength every morning" ~

Isaiah 33:2