Remembering that we have forgotten

"This I recall to my mind,

therefore I have hope."

Lamentations 3:21

Something interesting happened to me today.  I remembered something.  Something that I'd forgotten.

Now, I know you think that happens everyday, but this was different.  This wasn't one of those rememberings like sitting bolt upright in bed, thinking, "I can't remember what day are the library books due!"  Or walking to the checkout, and going, "*snap!*  I almost forgot hot dog buns!"  {And why do we say we "almost" forgot something when, in fact, we did forget it, cuz we couldn't be remembering, if we hadn't forgotten to begin with....}

But this wasn't like that.  This was something that I'd forgotten, that I had not even remembered that I'd forgotten.  I guess because there has been nothing to remind me.  {Who sang that song "Always Something There to Remind Me"?  Cuz there's not always...}

Let's see, how can I summarize this event in my life without incriminating anyone I'm fond of....  A couple of months ago, someone in my life made a decision that directly affected me.  Said Person asked my opinion, which I was happy to give, and Said Person knew I felt strongly about my opinion.  Within minutes of hearing my opinion, Said Person immediately decided to do what I wished they would not do.  I calmly replied, "fine" because after all, it was their decision to make.  But I felt... ignored.  Disrespected.  Disregarded.  And maybe a few other dis-es.

When Said Person made that decision, I thought our friendship would never be the same.  I felt so hurt because I felt like I'd just found out that I meant less to Said Person than I thought.  Or at least, my opinion meant less.  It was an important decision, and what I thought didn't matter.

But this morning I remembered with a start, that I'd forgotten all about it.  I realized that our friendship hadn't altered at all.  I guess Said Person has shown me repeatedly since then that my opinion does matter, because I have forgotten that I ever felt that it didn't.  The decision did affect me, but I've made peace with it, and our friendship hasn't suffered.

Now, maybe you'd say it would be better if I'd never remembered that painful morning.  But by remembering, I realized I'd forgotten, and I realized how grateful I was to God that He'd caused me to forget.  I really think it was all Him.  satan likes to torture us, sometimes, with memories of things we'd like to forget.  But God didn't let that happen.   When my Awesome Girl was about five, she did something wrong that she felt so bad about, she cried herself to sleep.  My heart hurt so much; the agony she was going through was far worse than the sin she'd committed.  And all I wanted was for her to forget it had ever happened.  And she did.  The next morning I cautiously said something related to the subject, and she didn't know what I was talking about.  And I never mentioned it again.  For her, it's completely gone, and for me, the memory has become not about what she did, but about God allowing her to forget.

And this morning,  He brought a painful memory back to my mind just to show me that it no longer held any pain for me.

I'll never know how many things I've forgotten, but that shouldn't stop me from remembering that I have forgotten.

~ "You will surely forget your trouble,

remembering it only as waters that have passed away" ~

Job 11:16