Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Rest of the Day

"Cast your burden on the Lord"
Psalm 55:22

I'm thinking about rest today.  That happens once in awhile.  And I've written about rest a few times before, but when I have, it's because I have felt the need for rest in a physical way.  And it's generally because I'm feeling too busy, not home enough or not getting enough sleep.

But today I'm thinking about, sort of, internal resting.  Rest of the mind or something.  Have you ever been mad at someone ~ the kind of mad that lasts awhile?  That takes energy.  Like, if you're giving someone the silent treatment, you have to keep "remembering" that, otherwise you might accidentally start a conversation with them.  

I know sometimes, when I'm mad at someone, or irritated at them for some reason, but haven't had a chance to talk to them, to get it out in the open and get it resolved, it hangs over me until that time.  I grew up in a family where we talked everything out ~ sometimes loudly.  We didn't hold grudges.  My sisters and I would disagree, and let each other know, and then move on with our lives.  Sometimes the disagreement would remain, but the anger never did.

But if for some reason, there was some delay in being able to work it out, I would feel like there was a dark cloud hanging over me.  And that feeling was exhausting.

I thought about the other day as I arrived at church.  I sat down in a chair to wait for the service to start, and I realized I sighed.  A little sigh of weariness.  But I wasn't physically weary.  There's an area of my life that's in transition, and I don't know what comes next.  I was a little anxious about that, and had been, off and on, for several days.  And as I sat there thinking that I wanted rest from the anxiety, I realized that rest doesn't have to come from answers.  Rest can come simply from deciding not to be anxious anymore. 

After all, I wasn't supposed to be anxious in the first place. 

It's within my power to have rest from worry, and rest from wondering; rest from fear and from judging and from worrying about being judged.   Too often we choose to cling to our burdens.   It's really a decision not to.  And even if that decision has to be made day after day, the rest will come.

~ "Grace to you and peace
         from God our Father" ~
Philemon 1:3

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