Control Freak

"the fruit of the Spirit"

Galatians 5:22

I love words.  I love the funky spelling of some of them; I love their interesting origins, and the depth revealed in the many ~ and sometimes conflicting ~ definitions. 

So I was excited when a new homophone was revealed to me recently.  You love homophones, too, don't you?  Those words that sound the same but are spelled differently, and have different meanings, like knew and new.  Not to be confused with antonyms, which are words that mean the opposite, like night and day.  And not to be confused with synonyms, which are words that mean the same thing, but don't look anything like each other, like shut and close.  Synonyms, of course, should also not be confused with cinnamon, which sounds similar, but tastes better...

And here's a wonderful piece of word trivia:  what two words in the English language change their pronunciation when you capitalize the first letter?  I'll give you the answer tomorrow, cuz I know some of you might want to ponder that little tidbit for awhile.

So, the new homophone I've come to appreciate might surprise you, because it's probably not technically a homophone.   It's more like a word that has come to have a whole new meaning for me, so that now, it has two different meanings.  And frankly, the word stopped scaring me when that happened. 

Are you wondering what word in the Bible is scary?  Or are you thinking of some, like smite, and lake of fire.  Although, if you find those scary, then I'd be remiss in not making sure you know that salvation is a prayer away!  Acknowledge that He is Lord; acknowledge that you're a sinner; ask Him to be your Lord.  Done and Done.  Amen, Hallelujah, and the angels are rejoicing!  :)  "there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7)

Okay, so the word that's been scaring me for several years is self-control.  It's from today's highlight verse, in Galatians.  It's one of the nine fruits of the Spirit.  And it's kind of scary because it reminds me that I have no excuse for misbehaving.  Self-control means being able to stop oneself from lying, or losing one's temper, or gossiping, or whatever one's weakness is.  So when I don't stop myself from doing whatever, it's because I'm failing to take advantage of that fruit.  God has gifted me with self-control, so I feel like if I'm not using that gift, it's my fault.  That's a very simplistic view of the fruit of self-control, but I'm not exactly rational when I'm critiquing myself.

So now the new meaning.  I had a dilemma the other day.  Someone in my life had made a decision that negatively affected me, and I have no choice but to live with it, no matter how frustrated it was making me.  I cried my anger to the Apple of my Eye, and he understood completely how I felt.  I know he was praying for me, but this is not the first time this person has done this to me, so although I desperately wish it weren't the case, I seem to be unable to completely forgive, since my frustration has increased since the last time. 

But then I called a friend of mine who has often been a source of wise counsel for me.  She knows me very well ~ my weaknesses and my strengths ~ and she also knows this other person, so I thought she'd be the perfect person to give me some advice on how to handle the unforgiving state my heart was in.  I was desperate not to continue in that unforgiving way, but I didn't seem to be able to help how I was feeling. 

Well, my friend had wonderful advice for me.  She understood my frustration, but showed me that there are things I can do, positive steps I can take to avoid being hurt in the future.  I was seeing myself as a victim, but that doesn't need to be the case.  Though this person will still be in my life, I can make sure it's not in the same way.  It's a change in the way she and I will interact, but there's also been a change in how I feel about her.  And you know how I felt when I realized I could make these changes?  Like I'd been given control.  I can allow myself to be a victim to someone else's choices in life, or I can make my own choices that give me control.  Self-control.  It doesn't mean that she, or someone else, can't make my life difficult anymore, but it can be the exception, not the rule. 

I see now, that self-control is a gift.  It means I'm not a puppet, of God, or of anyone else.  It means I have free will, and that when there is something negative and avoidable in my life, I have the ability to do something about it.  Choosing not to lose my temper, or judge, or gossip, means choosing to avoid situations that might lead to that.  And man, that makes me feel free!

~ "Stand fast, therefore, 

in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, 

and do not be entangled again 

with a yoke of bondage" ~

Galatians 5:1